Saturday, December 23, 2006

The Little Mermaid


I am so so sorry that the first time I tried to do this it came out blank. Not sure what happened, exactly, but here it is again. Version 2, slightly less passionate and off the cuff but just as genuinely felt.


The Little Mermaid as Disney makes it is disgusting. It's like subtle mind pornography for kids. OK, that is a little bit of a strong statement, but allow me to elaborate. Follow the plot.


You have a girl who is happy to live underwater with her family and friends. Until she begins to covet something she just wasn't meant to have - legs. I am not suggesting legs are evil, just an unhealthy desire to want something that you can't naturally have. She wants legs to explore the world above. She sees (not even says hello to, just sets eyes on) Prince Captain Charming on his little boat and instantly 'falls in love'. She did a good thing by saving his life, I'll give her that. But in love? Girl, he hasn't even seen you yet.


Then all of a sudden she's willing to literally sell her soul and the things that most identify her, her greatest gifts. Her personality and her voice. She passes them up. Cue a bunch of nude swimming scenes and some highly suggestive rock thrusting (don't know how those shells stayed in place), some dealing in the occult with a sea witch, and she washes up naked on the seashore. A mute chick whose mission is to get the guy to fall in love with her and kiss her based largely on her looks and the fact that he 'has seen her somewhere before'. And her friends don't talk sense to her, they sing 'kiss the girl' until I think the man gave in just to shut the crabs up, seriously.


I'm glad she found her true love. But wow, wrong way to do it honey. :) ;) I guess if I were a mermaid I might want legs too; but I hope I have the strength of character and heart to understand that what makes me me, those good things about me, are not worth the selling just to get some guy I barely know to kiss me. No thanks. Although if Prince Charming comes along in a boat I might be interested, he's gonna have to do more than just look pretty before he wins my heart. lol


Was it worth the wait, this blog? If you doubt it, I'm sorry. But it was so much fun to write. And don't get defensive, Mermaid Lovers. I'm only partially serious, and never pass up a chance to mock Disney. Also, if you happen to be mute I do believe you have personality and can find love. Just wear clothes while doing it.

4 comments:

Alex said...

Yep, that was worth the wait. Can't say I agree with everything you said (it's been a long time since I've seen that movie), but yeah, selling your soul to be with someone who you've only seen and never met is a bad idea.

Christiane said...

Dude...that is so funny cause I just changed my blog template to the same one!! I haven't been on your blog in months somehow and this is the first time I've seen it! Anyway...I haven't even read anything yet..I'll have to come back another day--I'm falling asleep as I type :D

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year :)
Love ya!

Christiane said...

DUDE...you posted this on DECEMBER 23rd...this is shameful!!! UPDATE YOUR BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Anonymous said...

well that's the point of the whole movie. Kids are supposed to learn not to give your soul for something, even more if you can get it the right way, at the end he loved knowing she was a mermaid. All the trouble she went through after she sold her soul is the part where kids see all that happened to her for doing such stupid thing, they are supposed to learn from it. The thing about the looks to get the guy you're right, that's kind of discriminatory to heavy people, and unfortunately those are standards created by the media. I also think that kids do not look at Disney movies like you did or many other people do. The just enjoy the movie, the colors, the music, the creatures, they are not looking for hidden messages or hidden intentions or double senses in the story line. They have innocent minds, they don't see or understand the same things. And about the naked swimming, what do you expect? that from out of no where she is dress in a pair o jeans or something??? that in the deep of the sea there's human clothe?