twenty some years and we finally get one that works. Angels are singing somewhere.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Local Celebrity Gets A New Job
If my life were a paper, that would be the headline.
The day staff came to work the other day and looked at me and started straight into laughing hysterically. Turns out that the whole community decided to frame 'fire safety week' around my little hospital fire incident. Which means that they put MY bagel and the toaster on display at the fire hall... the display that all the school kids are marched in front of. But that's not all. Even though it's a proven fact that it was an electrical fire, there is now a radio ad published by the fire department that goes like this:
"This is a safety message brought to you by the fire department. Never leave a bagel unattended in a toaster." Note the specificity. Not "never leave a toaster unattended" but "Never leave a bagel unattended in a toaster."
You wouldn't think something like that could incite pride, but I was MAD and humiliated. No one knew that it was me, but I mean come on. Let it die already. Even though it is sort of funny.
And I get a new job... working for a community college in Alberta training new healthcare aides. I have a group of seven PCAs (or Nurses Aides, if you're oldschool) to tutor as they go through their program. It's great! I get to still work on the floor at the hospital, but the extra tutor hours bring me to fulltime or almost full time; plus I get to be involved in people's lives in a helpful and supporting way and hopefully be one of the good instructors that I liked, not the Nazi ones I didn't. I could sure use some prayers though... some of the students are old enough to be my parents and I'm not sure how they'll respond to a 'young upstart'... I hope that I have the chance to teach well, not just mediocre. (good thing I don't teach grammar)
The day staff came to work the other day and looked at me and started straight into laughing hysterically. Turns out that the whole community decided to frame 'fire safety week' around my little hospital fire incident. Which means that they put MY bagel and the toaster on display at the fire hall... the display that all the school kids are marched in front of. But that's not all. Even though it's a proven fact that it was an electrical fire, there is now a radio ad published by the fire department that goes like this:
"This is a safety message brought to you by the fire department. Never leave a bagel unattended in a toaster." Note the specificity. Not "never leave a toaster unattended" but "Never leave a bagel unattended in a toaster."
You wouldn't think something like that could incite pride, but I was MAD and humiliated. No one knew that it was me, but I mean come on. Let it die already. Even though it is sort of funny.
And I get a new job... working for a community college in Alberta training new healthcare aides. I have a group of seven PCAs (or Nurses Aides, if you're oldschool) to tutor as they go through their program. It's great! I get to still work on the floor at the hospital, but the extra tutor hours bring me to fulltime or almost full time; plus I get to be involved in people's lives in a helpful and supporting way and hopefully be one of the good instructors that I liked, not the Nazi ones I didn't. I could sure use some prayers though... some of the students are old enough to be my parents and I'm not sure how they'll respond to a 'young upstart'... I hope that I have the chance to teach well, not just mediocre. (good thing I don't teach grammar)
Friday, October 13, 2006
Good Fear, Bad Fear
There is a verse in 1 John about perfect love driving out fear. I like how the message puts in from chapter 4:
"There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love. "
I've been thinking about this verse more lately, I've needed it lately. For the past while, I have been challenged by situations (and even once by Dr. Phil) to ask myself, "What are you really afraid of? What is it that you tell yourself that makes you fear?"
I've feared my future - maybe it will be boring, full of something I don't want to do, not fulfilling, maybe I'll get God's will wrong.
I've feared in relationships - maybe they'll discover I'm not really worth it and send me packing, maybe they'll turn out to be lions in sheep's clothing, maybe I'm interpreting things wrong, what happens if I interpret God's will wrong and then end up with Plan B or Plan Z?
I've feared about money and about my career - what if other people find out that I really don't know all that my professional face appears to know, what if I make a big mistake, what if I lose my job and go for broke?
Two lies are the major ones that I tell myself that make me fear: I am not good enough, or God is not good enough. Either lie can lead me to think that someone else also won't be good to me.
Obvious lies, but so subtle in the way that I continue to believe them at times. I can be crippled from loving someone, from acting on love, because I fear. And the solution is Perfect Love.
When I love what I'm doing (spiritual discussions with my patients, or time bonding at youth group or with a friend, roasting a Cornish game hen) I'm not afraid that life will be boring; I'm exhilarated with what life IS. When I know the quality of love of the people that I am with, I am at peace and unrestrained in expressing love to them; it never enters my mind that I'm not worthy of them or that they would ever abandon or stop loving me. When I love a patient, I stop thinking about what's professional or policy in a situation; my focus shifts to making sure that they know it's gonna be OK. When I love people, it's no problem for me to give of my money or my time. The fact that I'm doing a good thing doesn't register, or doing it because it's a command, I just do it cuz I wanna.
I've started taking the anxiety in my life and analyzing it this way... what am I afraid of? Is what I'm afraid of real or true? Is what I'm doing out of love? Where is the love missing?
I think I have tasted perfect love; it makes me yearn for that place of complete peace and joy that I have when I'm at adoration or in prayer or getting ready for confession, when it's just God and me and no holds barred. It's an awfully easy yard stick for me romantically too - my way of looking at other people has changed; it's no longer "Can I have them? Should I have them? God, help me decide" but
"Is this the one I am set apart for since before the creation of the world? (Tobit - read it!!!) God, you love me and you will work this for me one way or another; you will show me as I need to see it"
I'd love your comments on this topic...
"There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love. "
I've been thinking about this verse more lately, I've needed it lately. For the past while, I have been challenged by situations (and even once by Dr. Phil) to ask myself, "What are you really afraid of? What is it that you tell yourself that makes you fear?"
I've feared my future - maybe it will be boring, full of something I don't want to do, not fulfilling, maybe I'll get God's will wrong.
I've feared in relationships - maybe they'll discover I'm not really worth it and send me packing, maybe they'll turn out to be lions in sheep's clothing, maybe I'm interpreting things wrong, what happens if I interpret God's will wrong and then end up with Plan B or Plan Z?
I've feared about money and about my career - what if other people find out that I really don't know all that my professional face appears to know, what if I make a big mistake, what if I lose my job and go for broke?
Two lies are the major ones that I tell myself that make me fear: I am not good enough, or God is not good enough. Either lie can lead me to think that someone else also won't be good to me.
Obvious lies, but so subtle in the way that I continue to believe them at times. I can be crippled from loving someone, from acting on love, because I fear. And the solution is Perfect Love.
When I love what I'm doing (spiritual discussions with my patients, or time bonding at youth group or with a friend, roasting a Cornish game hen) I'm not afraid that life will be boring; I'm exhilarated with what life IS. When I know the quality of love of the people that I am with, I am at peace and unrestrained in expressing love to them; it never enters my mind that I'm not worthy of them or that they would ever abandon or stop loving me. When I love a patient, I stop thinking about what's professional or policy in a situation; my focus shifts to making sure that they know it's gonna be OK. When I love people, it's no problem for me to give of my money or my time. The fact that I'm doing a good thing doesn't register, or doing it because it's a command, I just do it cuz I wanna.
I've started taking the anxiety in my life and analyzing it this way... what am I afraid of? Is what I'm afraid of real or true? Is what I'm doing out of love? Where is the love missing?
I think I have tasted perfect love; it makes me yearn for that place of complete peace and joy that I have when I'm at adoration or in prayer or getting ready for confession, when it's just God and me and no holds barred. It's an awfully easy yard stick for me romantically too - my way of looking at other people has changed; it's no longer "Can I have them? Should I have them? God, help me decide" but
"Is this the one I am set apart for since before the creation of the world? (Tobit - read it!!!) God, you love me and you will work this for me one way or another; you will show me as I need to see it"
I'd love your comments on this topic...
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